


Missing You

by bedknees



Series: Rose-Colored Boy [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Have a sad, Spoilers for Episode: s05e01-04 Wanted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bedknees/pseuds/bedknees
Summary: “Just be straight with me, Steven,” she urged through a flurry of tears. “He really is dead, isn’t he?”Steven explains. Sadie reacts.





	Missing You

Lars was still on that ship.

He was still on that ship and she hadn’t made sure he was with the group when they jumped.

He was as good as dead and Sadie was far beyond heartbroken. She was numb. In any other situation, she would still be very mad at him over the fact that he just ran and hid like that. Sadie originally planned to scold him later, because despite knowing what an anxiety-ridden coward he was, she always expected better. She _knew_ he could do better.

Now he was probably dead somewhere in the cold vacuum of space. Sadie felt her throat constrict.

Still, she tried to hold out a small sliver of hope. Otherwise, she’d go insane. For hours she waited with baited breath, hopeless as it was, for any sign of Steven and Lars’ return. It was all for nothing, and by the time sunrise rolled around she was sure she would never see either them ever again.

That night, when Steven abruptly returned and broke the news about Lars to her, was when she allowed herself to finally break down completely.

“Why isn’t he with you if he’s alive?!” she demanded tearily.

Steven looked absolutely crestfallen. “He’s the reason I’m here. But don’t worry!” He was trying to lighten the mood. Sadie was not impressed. “He has company and I’m sure he’ll be fine until we can find another way.” He let out a half-hearted laugh, but couldn’t hide the misery in his eyes.

“Steven,” Sadie began sternly, “you have to tell me **everything**. From the beginning. Why couldn’t he come back with you? What exactly happened up there?” Her voice wavered, melancholic and filled with grief.

The young teen did his best, carefully detailing the events up to his return. From taking refuge with a group of rebel Gems to fighting off killer robots, Sadie was stunned. She was even more stunned when Steven told her, with pride it seemed, that it was _Lars_ \-- _her_ Lars!--who took out most of the robots. How he heroically protected all of the ‘off colors’, as the half-Gem referred to them, as well as Steven himself.

Just around the time Steven was animatedly--as he could, given the grim circumstances--recounting Lars performing selfless heroics was when he began to trail off and get vague. He mentioned that Lars jumped on one of the robots with the intention to smash it, but seemed to get very uncomfortable and backpedaled to discuss the Gems they met.

“I’m sorry Steven, but I don’t care about the Gems,” Sadie admitted. “What happened after Lars jumped on the, um, what did you call it?”

“A, a robonoid,” Steven answered nervously.

“Okay, robonoid. What happened after that?” She waited for a response in tense anticipation.

Steven took a very deep breath, seemingly to try to keep himself composed. Wow. How bad could it be? What in the _world_ happened to Lars? Sadie felt anxiety claw at her stomach, her chest.

“So, Lars jumped on the robonoid.” He steadied his breathing again. “He stabbed it and it, it exploded.”

“It **_what_ **?!”

The boy started to openly cry, unable to hold back his emotions anymore. On the same token, Sadie began to cry with him. “I’m sorry, Sadie! I’m so sorry! It exploded and, and he flew into a wall--”

“No…”

“--and I ran over and he wasn’t, he wasn’t breathing,--”

“Please, _please_ **_no_**.”

“--so I picked him up and I started, I started to cry--”

“Just be straight with me, Steven,” she urged through a flurry of tears. “He really _is_ dead, isn’t he?”

He shook his head vehemently. “No! My tears, I have healing tears! Well, I found _out_ I have healing tears. They brought him back to life! He’s okay, I promise!”

Sadie was floored. “He’s alive, then?”

Steven nodded in affirmation, “He’s alive, I promise.” In an instant, he seemed to brighten up a little, “Oh! And I can go back and visit as much as I need to, so I can get a picture of him so you can know for sure! Maybe even a video?”

She immediately went from relief back to angry confusion. “Steven, if you can visit him, then why can’t he come home?” Her voice had chilled, tranquil fury evident in her tone.

The younger boy stammered over words, trying to explain himself as much as possible. He told Sadie he had more time to find a good explanation for what had transpired and what it meant, telling her about his magical pink Lion and how he’s now certain his tears can bring people and animals back to life. How Lars was now pink in hue and had a dimensional shortcut in his hair.

“He’s _pink_?” Sadie was absolutely dumbfounded by the new and confusing information. “So, is he a zombie now or something?” The thought made her guts twist.

“Oh, no!” Steven reassured, “Lars...he, he was actually worried about that too. He has a heartbeat, uhh, a _slow_ heartbeat but he does have one!”

“And because that portal is his hair, he’s stuck there until they find another way,” she concluded solemnly, though she was still very confused about the whole situation.

Steven bowed his head, “Yeah.”

Thinking critically, Sadie looked to the young teen again. “Wait. Can you take other people through that, um, dimension?”

Alarm crossed his soft features, “N-no! Only I can use it. Seems to just be a me and my mom thing. Heh.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

Sadie knew with her everything that Steven was lying, but dropped it. She didn’t even blame him. The risk of taking another friend to a dangerous planet far away wasn’t something she would want to do, either.

Plus, she wouldn’t be able to do anything that would be of help to Lars.

. . .

Steven promised to keep her updated on Lars and would get a hold of her when he had news. For her part, Sadie was in the process of writing a letter, mostly urging her friend and coworker to be safe and telling him to get home soon “you big jerk”. It already went through three different versions, Sadie not being afraid to admit that she wasn’t exactly a wordsmith.

Despite the knowledge that Lars wasn’t actually dead and had people with him, things went dark for Sadie shortly after her conversation with Steven. She was soul-crushed, feeling like a shell of who she used to be. Though she continued to work at the Big Donut, everything felt bleak. Not even work was an adequate distraction from the fact that Lars had died and was now stuck somewhere cold and dangerous in space.

Of course, why would it be?

Sadie didn’t do much outside of work, sticking to hunkering down in her room and binging on horror classics that she and Lars would watch during hang-out sessions. The Cool Kids offered several invitations to ‘chill’, Buck even kindly mentioning that she deserved to get out and have fun to get her mind off of things. Sadie politely declined. She would just be a downer to everyone and that wouldn’t be fair.

It had been three whole days since the initial conversation. Since then, Steven had given her a few small updates reporting that Lars was safe and still alive. It was enough to keep her going. The current day in particular had been slow, the sun just now beginning to dip over the horizon after it had dragged for so long. It was almost dusk, a few sparse clouds in the sky on an otherwise typical sunny day in Beach City. She hadn’t slept very well since the news regarding Lars was broken to her, the tiredness in her eyes stinging as she fought to stay awake.

Just as she debated on going for another cup of coffee, Steven came bursting through the front doors of the shop. He looked pretty excited and clutched what seemed to be a phone.

“Sadieeee, I have a surprise for you!”

She picked her head up from where it was resting on her hand, cringing inwardly when she rubbed her eyes and felt the deep bags that laid under them. “What’s up, Steven?”

“You know how I mentioned I could get a picture of Lars?” Sadie became completely alert at that point, Steven continuing. “Well, I did even better!” He beamed at her, looking quite pleased with himself.

“What is it? Is it a video or something?” She noted that, despite his tone, it seemed that Steven’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes like it used to. She kept those thoughts quiet, for now at least. What he was getting at was way more important.

“Lars almost didn’t let me record it, but yeah it’s a video.” He rushed to the counter, scrolling through the phone before turning it to Sadie. “We had to do a few takes, but this was the best one.”

Sadie stared at the screen, the play button looming over the video. She wasn’t sure if she was ready emotionally to see this. How much had he changed? What would she see? The thoughts scared her, coupled with the fact she’d rather not devolve into an ugly sobbing mess while on shift.

“Hey Steven, do you mind if we take this to the back room? I’d rather watch this without the threat of customers popping in.”

The half-Gem nodded, “Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you back there.”

She was quick to put up the ‘closed’ sign for the time being, locking the register before she headed back. Sadie took a long, deep breath.

This was going to be really hard.

By the time she made her way to the back, Steven was already seated and patted the cushion next to him. Gingerly, she sat and went back to looking at the large ‘play’ button. It obscured the video behind it, making it more ambiguous as to what exactly she would see.

“You ready?” Steven asked gently as he handed the phone to her.

Sadie took another breath, and sighed. “Yeah.”

She pressed play.

The figure that greeted her was unquestionably Lars, sitting on a rock of some sort. As Steven had mentioned, he was indeed pink. She didn’t expect that _vibrant_ of a shade of pink, but it didn’t look bad. His hair looked kind of cute, too. It was okay; she could get past his new look no problem.

As soon as she caught sight of the large scar that now bisected his right eye and his ripped and tattered clothes, however, Sadie felt the first wave of tears prick her eyes. Despite the rush of emotion, she kept her composure up for the time being and let them fall silently.

 _“Are you…?”_ Lars was looking into the camera questioningly, and from the corner she could tell Steven was giving him a thumbs up. _“Ok.”_ She heard him inhale softly.

 _“Hey, Sadie,”_ he began. _“I know I look really, really different and it’s probably super distracting that I’m, y’know, pink, but I’ve gotta few things I wanted to say and I hope you’ll hear me out.”_ He stopped to rub his arm a little before continuing.

She held her breath and froze.

_“I messed up, like really bad. And not just for running away when that Gem had you, but I messed everything up. I’ve been a sucky friend and I treated you like crap... a lot. I honestly dunno why you put up for it for so long. ‘Course, I wouldn’t be surprised if me running and hiding was the last straw. I, I wouldn’t blame you.”_

Sadie was shaking her head at that point, face contorting into a pained grimace while Lars talked. Steven said nothing, but looked away in guilt while she watched the rest of the video. She could make out that, despite the rather subpar quality, Lars’ eyes were beginning to get glassy. That fact made her feel like she was being stabbed in the chest.

He continued. _“So yeah, I’m really sorry. For being such a jerk to you all those times, ‘cause you didn’t deserve that. You really didn’t.”_ He bit his lip and almost looked like he was going to break, but he powered through. _“Also I, I’m sorry about ditching you. I’m really glad you’re okay and that Gem didn’t hurt you. No thanks to me.”_

It was getting more and more difficult for Sadie to not burst into tears. Her free hand covered her mouth, face twisted in agony and eyes reddened. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, what she was seeing. Lars was being so apologetic, so open, so _kind_.

Through her misery, she felt vindicated.

She had been right about him all along.

 _“I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that stuff, but when I come back I wanna make things right. I wanna be someone better. Someone who doesn’t get so scared over every stupid little thing. Someone who doesn’t act like a jerk all the time. Someone who deserves to be your,”_ he stopped to consider his next word for a second _“...friend.”_ He sniffed, pausing for a second or two.

_“I just hope you’ll give me that chance. I miss you, Sadie. Talk to you soon, okay?”_

The video cut out.

Sadie was trembling, a mess of painful crying. Just as it ended, she allowed herself a few sobs. Steven cried silently next to her, patting her back comfortingly while she held her hands over her face, phone discarded.

“Why didn’t I make sure he was with us when we jumped?” she asked, voice aching and muffled through her hands.

“It’s not your fault, Sadie. It’s mine.” Steven grit his teeth, balling up a fist in contempt for himself. “If it wasn’t for me, none of this would’ve happened.”

She moved her hands from her face, revealing the puffy redness underneath. “Oh my god, Steven. No, you’re just a kid. You didn’t know what you were getting into.”

“I could’ve done things better!” he argued through his grief.

“A lot of people way older than you could have done things better, including me,” she argued back. “Listen, I don’t know what exactly Lars is now, but you brought him back to life.” Sadie stopped to hold back another sob. “As long as he gets home safe then that’s all that matters to me.”

In a flash, Sadie was trapped in a tight embrace. “We’ll bring him home soon, I promise.” Steven was shaking, voice hushed but determined.

Sadie had no choice but to believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on tumblr under the same name.


End file.
